What about When Your Senior Doesn’t Want Any Help
It’s frustrating to see your senior struggle with something or to need help from you or from others and to have her turn down that help whenever you offer it. There might be valid reasons for her to do this, but it’s still frustrating.
Look Behind What She’s Saying
When your elderly family member turns down help that you’re offering, there can be a lot of layers to what’s really happening. Sometimes seniors have underlying fears about accepting help, namely that it’s a quick trip straight to having no independence at all. No matter how unreasonable that sounds to you, it’s a genuine fear. So when she says no, she may be doing so because she’s looking at things from a different angle. You may need to have a much more patient conversation with her.
Is There Even More to It?
You’re going to need to really listen and be willing to see your senior’s point of view. If she feels as if you’re not truly hearing her, that can cause her to shut this conversation down completely. Validate what she’s feeling, even if it doesn’t completely make sense to you right now. Sometimes showing her that you’re listening and that you’re trying is much more important than shifting her opinion to align with your own.
Get Her Doctor’s Opinion, if Warranted
What does her doctor have to say about the types of assistance you feel she needs? It’s not unheard of for a caregiver to be a little more overprotective than is really necessary. That might mean that you need to back off a little bit and let your senior ask for help. Her doctor can help you to determine when your concerns are warranted and when they aren’t.
If She Needs the Help, You May Need to Try Something Else
If you’ve determined that your senior really does need the help you’re trying to offer, though, you may need to come to a compromise. Hiring elderly care providers can sometimes help. Your senior may have no problem telling you no, but it can be more difficult for her to turn down help from a well-meaning professional. You can also agree to do this on a trial basis with her as a way to convince her to accept assistance.
Accepting help from others can be difficult for many seniors. It sometimes means that they need to acknowledge that they are indeed growing older and that their life is changing. Your elderly family member might be having a tougher time with that than either of you expected.
