Why Your Senior Does Not Want Your Help
When you offer help to your senior and she turns you down over and over, that gets upsetting. It can help to understand what might be behind that refusal so that you can correct any misconceptions.
She Really Believes She’s Doing Fine
Believe it or not, your elderly family member may honestly see herself as doing quite fine on her own. She may realize that she’s facing some challenges, but that doesn’t mean that she’s in too far over her head. From her point of view, your help is a lovely idea, but isn’t truly necessary. What she may not realize is that her health and her needs can literally change overnight.
The Idea of Help Is Embarrassing
The other side of the situation could be that your senior does know she could use some help, but that’s not how she has faced her life challenges. For some people, needing or asking for help is embarrassing and it never gets easier. The situation could be compounded even more by the fact that you’re the one offering her help.
She’s Concerned You’ll Bail on Her
It’s not flattering, but your senior might worry that she’ll start to rely on you or on other people for help and then she’ll be left holding the bag. This doesn’t mean that she honestly believes you would do something like that, but she may have a history that leaves her with this type of fear. You may need to prove to your senior that you mean what you say and that you’ll always be there for her.
She Thinks She’ll Have to Give Something Up
Another big cause for your senior’s refusal of your help is that she could believe you’re going to make her give something up that she doesn’t want to give up. This might be her independence or something else entirely, like her home. The underlying belief here is that your assistance comes with strings attached and she’s not sure she’s willing to pay that price. Regardless of the fact that this isn’t true, it can still be what she believes.
Just because your elderly family member doesn’t want your help right now, that doesn’t mean that she never will. She might also be more open to help from other people, like elderly care providers. That might sting at first, but remember that the goal is to make sure your senior is safe and well.